Landing

Written on the 13 June - the sun was shining but my head was hazy so apologies for the disconnected thoughts and emotions:

24 hours (almost) at home and  I can say I am unpacked.  Or at least as unpacked as it is going to get until I find myself in a permanent home (however many months from now).

After bouncing from Romania for a wedding - Ireland for some gorgeous views and wonderful music - Wales for an Organic Gardening course and then back to the College for my last bag: I arrived into Calgary airport yesterday at noon with no ticket out and declared myself a Canadian resident again.

I AM facing small bouts of anxiety feeling like I am behind on my thesis because I have been 'away from it' the last weeks (despite being fine according to my timeline and plan) and also feeling like I need to start moving to get a job and pay back my loans.  But I am keeping calm and blaming this anxiety on the jet-lag grogginess I have been walking around with.

Getting on the plane to come home was easier and less emotional than I thought it would be - but once the many good-byes were said, this step was really another in a path that was set out last year when I left Singapore.  It is a big step but it is not a change in direction and so it feels natural.  It is something I have been preparing for over the entire 8 months spent at the College.

In the last few hours I have unpacked into my bedroom and begun to make my parent's basement my temporary home and office for the summer.  The desk is set up, clothes put away, books laid out... all I need to do is arrange for internet and to tack up my previously designed 'thesis maps' and I am set to get back to work on my Master's.  

It was interesting being 'reunited' with my items from Singapore.  I went through the boxes I had shipped and pulled out the books, a few kitchen items and other things that I will use this summer... the rest can wait in the boxes until I have my own space again.  Just seeing and touching some items took me back to different times and I am reminded of how much has changed, come together, fallen away over the last year. 

And it has already been nice to share with my parents ideas for little projects around here (setting up their compost), reading more about what 'weeds' we have in our garden that are edible (my mom seems excited about getting into a bit of foraging with me), and bird watching with my Mom from our back porch.  The back porch and garden have already become my favourite spots again.  While my desk in the basement may not have the stellar view I had at the college - having a sunny patch of grass and a little garden to sit next to, I am in heaven; I am home.

B