Sunday, January 23, 2011

Hi. I'm Brenda and....

I've been thinking a bit about introductions.  Specifically how I choose to introduce myself - what details do I share and how do I put them forward.  I'm always interested and attentive to how people introduce themselves when a new group is forming or a round is done.  What details do they want us to know?  What do they think is important for me to identify them with?  and (if I have met them before or know them) What is new or different or constant in the way they put themselves forward.

When I left Singapore and moved to the UK for my masters programme - there was a lot I wanted to leave sit.  Not to forget it but to allow it to rest and to have time to see what was important to take forward with me and what I could let go of.  This meant that I didn't want to talk about my past a lot.  Not that I was ashamed of it or wouldn't open up with individuals or in the right moment.  It just didn't seem that important to me or wasn't the reason I was there.  My focus was on the present and on living into the next phase of my life.  My internal process was to integrate my past but to not dwell on it or be attached to it.  But I didn't realise that this was really manifesting itself in how I was introducing myself and meeting others until months into our course.  There were a couple times that fellow classmates were surprised when I shared something from my past that seemed to be a fact to me, something I guess I just assumed everyone knew because close friends at the school knew and it wasn't something I was hiding.

Again - coming home and meeting people, working in new circles - I have had to go through introductions and revealings.  It's been interesting to see what parts of my past have been so integrated that they are part of my story and also to see what new elements have been important to put forward.  The last months have been about coming home and reconnecting so my introduction usually explains that - to some extent.  Summarising parts of the journey that took me away from and back to rural Alberta, letting people know that I from here but also new to here.

Yet this past week when, again, I was sitting in circle with a new group of mates - I began to feel like maybe that was less of what I needed to state.  That perhaps I am home and not coming home.  That I am involved and connected enough now, that the shoots I am putting up are more relevant and revealing than the roots I have been putting down.  Both will continue to grow but perhaps the focus of the story is shifting.

And these musings are not about finding what is most interesting or relevant for others to know about me - but me observing me, my journey.  In the sensation and reflection on the words and ideas I use to introduce myself - I am seeing a shift in my own journey.  And seeing each introduction as an opportunity to invite others to share my journey for a short (or longer) while.

No comments:

Post a Comment